Practicing radical self-love is living in a way that honors your worth, sufficiency and birthright to happiness, just as you are now.
In a world filled with diets, quick fixes and perfectly filtered facades, this is easier said than done. It feels as if there is always something you could be doing better or that you are lacking somewhere in your life.
Food is a particularly challenging area when it comes to practicing radical self-love. People often have expectations about what is “healthy” or what your food choices say about you. On the other hand, it is also the perfect way to really inspire your radical self-love.
In my journey to a healthier relationship with food, a mindset of grace over guilt has helped create more self-love, and that has changed everything for me. I used to get caught in a cycle of feeling bad about what I ate and then making sure to exercise more to burn it off (punishment, disguised as exercise). Or I would beat myself up for making choices that were inconsistent with the “perfect” diet I was trying to follow.
Once I started to embrace grace instead of guilt, I began to understand that one meal or one night of “overindulgence” did not define me as a person, nor did it define my health! I was able to break free of the patterns that kept me in an unhealthy relationship with food and myself.
Guilt does not serve as a motivator – it leads to shame, keeps us in trouble, and prevents us from gaining freedom and self-love.
So, if you’re ready to break free and love yourself more fully, let’s flip the script and rewrite the narrative to talk about how to create more self-compassion through food.
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Eat with intention
Eating can be an enjoyable experience – if you keep positive thoughts while you’re eating. The funny thing is, usually you’re not really paying attention to your food while you’re eating. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m often working on my computer or standing at the kitchen counter trying to get my kids ready for school when I inhale lunch. I forget to stop and enjoy the food!
Positive thinking about eating is the opposite of this. It is the practice of being present with yourself, your food and the experience of each meal. No matter what the food is, it’s about enjoying every bite of it.
How to Eat Positively
Because radical self-love is about pursuing the pleasures that are yours and choosing to eat mindfully. Consciously enjoying meals and appreciating the way food nourishes your body may be the perfect way to bring more self-compassion into your world. Bring this concept into your mealtime by following these three simple steps:
Stop and eat. This is the most important step. If you are focused on driving or working, it can be difficult to eat consciously. I’ve made it a habit to stop and take a few slow, deep breaths every night before dinner. I’m usually in a hurry to get food to the table and negotiate with my four kids to make a family contribution for them (setting the table, pouring water, etc.), so when I eat, if I don’t intentionally stop and breathe to reset my nervous system, I’ll eat in that rushed and overstimulated state.
Tune in to how you feel. What is the texture of the food? Can you describe the taste? As you continue to eat, tune in to how full you feel so you can stop when your hunger subsides.
Express gratitude. Chew each bite with gratitude. What are you grateful for at this meal? Keep this gratitude in mind as you enjoy the meal from start to finish.
When practiced regularly, this mindfulness can permeate other aspects of your life, making it easier to stay mindful when you are spending time with loved ones or moving your body. Living in the present moment is just another way to experience complete self-love in all aspects of your life.
Letting go of the “good” and the “bad”
This is another lingering habit of living in a world consumed by food culture. You may have been taught, or just learned through hearing and observing others, that some foods are “good” and others are “bad. I don’t even have to say which foods are which, because you probably already have your own list.
One way to use food to inspire radical self-love is to abandon the rating system. Instead, let all foods have a place in your life. Everything from a bowl of cereal to crackers or vegetable stir-fry can be delightful, nourishing and supportive in different ways.
One day you might choose chicken noodle soup because it nourishes your soul in the winter. The next day you might choose to eat cupcakes because they taste good. Later in the week, you might eat a salad because you want fresh produce.
There is no such thing as “perfect” when it comes to food choices. There is only the desire to love and respect yourself.
Fill your life with radical self-love
Food is a great tool to practice and inspire radical self-love. Learning how to create more self-love around food has also been an important part of my journey, which is how I know it will be so helpful to bring these shifts in your life. Use these ideas to tune more deeply into your intuitive desires, learn to trust yourself, and finally see all food for what it is: an opportunity to nourish, love, and care for yourself no matter what you crave.
